The Over-Scheduled Slacker's Guide to Life

Slacker Suggestion #6: Cheap but Great Birthday Party Theme

2009-06-28T16:16:00.000-07:00

I have a 4-year-old son and I am constantly amazed at the birthday parties he gets invited to. Lavish themes, professional entertainment, catering, and rented banquet halls seem to be the rule rather than the exception. My wedding probably didn't cost as much as the last 4-year-old birthday party I attended.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my son and would give him anything I have if I thought it would enrich his life and who he becomes as an adult. But I don't think I need to spend a week's salary on his birthday every year to make him feel special and create happy childhood memories. Whatever happened to the home-made backyard birthday party?

Can I get an "amen!" from the readers? Want to start a new (more sane) trend? This year I'm doing a "camping" themed party. It's cheap (you use your camping equipment as decoration and can re-use everything you purchase except the baloons!), easy to do, and what kid doesn't like camping? Here's a cheat sheet for my plan.

CAMPING THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY (best if hosted between 5-8 pm):

Invitations:
www.evite.com has some really cute camping themed evites or create a "brochure" for Camp [Insert Your Family Name]. Just open Microsoft Word and look under templates for a brochure template. Write up a brochure describing your "camp" activities, menu, dates, and directions and print on hour home printer. Leave a "mailer" section on the back of the brochure and you can just tape/staple the 3-fold brochure up, address it, stamp it, and send it in the mail with no envelope required.

Menu (I purchased everything at Costco):
Hot dogs
Big jug of Lemonade and Ice Water (optional ice chest with Beer for grown-ups)
Potato Salad
Sliced watermelon
Chips and Dip

Birthday Cake:
You'll Need:
Cupcakes frosted in grass-green color.
Crushed black part of Oreo cookies.
Pretzel sticks and candy rocks.

Instructions:
On each cupcake create a "fire ring" of candy rocks, fill the middle with crushed oreo cookies to look like dirt, stack the pretzel sticks in a tee-pee formation to look like firewood. In the birthday kid's cupcake push appropriate number of candles all the way down into cupcake firepit so just the top of the candle sticks out. Light it and voila! A real campfire to blow out!

Decorations:
Red & White checked picnic tablecloths from dollar store
Lots of plastic bugs and snakes scattered around (get these at www.orientaltrading.com)
Camping lanterns on tables
Set up your real camping tent and camping shade canopy
Firepit
Galvanized metal buckets and/or camping coolers for drinks
Balloons (in red/dark blue/dark green)
Noisemaker with cricket sounds outside turned up
Paper plates, rollup utensils in napkin and hemp string
Set up camping chairs for guests to sit on
Picnic/camping tables
Banner with "CAMP [your name]" printed on it. (I found a super-cute, cheap one at www.vistaprint.com)

Activities:
1. Recruit some adult family/friends to act as camp counselors (to help run games). Consider buying them t-shirts with "CAMP [your name]" printed on them. I found some very cheap at www.vistaprint.com. Get a box of cheap prizes from www.orientaltrading.com
2. Set up a tent for impromptu pretend play.
3. Hide plastic bugs and snakes around your back yard. Have a camp counselor set a timer for 3 minutes and set kids off to see who can find the most. Kid who finds most gets a prize, all kids get to keep the bugs/snakes they find.
4. Create a "Nature Walk Scavenger Hunt." Break kids into groups, send each group with a counselor to find nature items on a list (ex: something green, something you can eat, something alive, etc). Each member of the group with the most items gets to pick a prize from the prize bin. People who found the most "creative" version of certain items gets to pick a prize too.
5. Have a friend who plays guitar lead a sing-a-long around the firepit while everyone roasts marshmallows at the end of the party just before time to go home.
6. Optional: Create a "Camp Grown-Up" area. I used a shade awning with lawn chairs underneath, coolers with beer iced, music and a grown-up game like a card table with poker chips and cards.

Gift Bags:
Try to strike a balance between fun and practicality. Most birthday party treat bags are filled with too much sugar or junky toys that just fall apart/make a mess. Too socially conscious / practical ideas just aren't any fun (one party host gave out apples as the gift bag ... healthy, but not a big hit with the kids).

Here's what I did for the camping theme (everything on the list was purchased from www.orientaltrading.com and my local Walgreens on sale). Each giftbag cost under $5. Hand these out just before SMORE time toward the end of the evening when the sun is starting to go down:
1. Camo drawstring backpack filled with
2. Mini-flash light
3. Glowsticks (so we could see the kids after dark)
4. Stainless Steel "canteen" (really a drinking bottle they could use in their lunch box) with their name written on it and a carabeener for clipping it to their belt.
5. Nature-themed (bugs, etc) temporary tatoos
6. SMORE kit for later in the evening (ziplock back with graham cracker, chocolate bar, marshmallows)

TIPS:
Before purchasing anything from VistaPrint or Oriental Trading, do a quick Google search for "VistaPrint Coupon" or "Oriental Trading Coupon." I found a coupon for 90% off my Vista Print order, making the t-shirts and banners almost free. I found a $10 off coupon for Oriental Trading plus free shipping and no tax.

Hit your local WalMart, Target, or Walgreens toward the end of summer to purchase loads of tablecloths, stainless steel bottles, etc of summer time and camping gear items that you can use for the party and for any real camping/picnicking you might do in the future.

Slacker Suggestion #5: Glamping

2009-06-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's because I was raised in the mountains, but summer time is outdoors time in my book. When I was younger, fitter, had more energy (and less responsibility) that usually meant backpacks and sleeping on the ground. Now that I'm older, fatter, more tired (and over-scheduled) digging a hole everytime I need to go to the bathroom just doesn't seem as invigorating as it used to.

So what's an outdoor-loving slacker to do? ... Glamping! For those of you not familiar with the term, glamping (glamour+camping) is a slacker's dream. Someone else sets up the tent or tent cabin, there are hot showers, real toilets, and usually someone else to cook meals if you just don't feel like it. Some places even make your beds and light a campfire for you, but that's optional. All you do is have fun outside with your family, roast marshmallows and sleep under the stars. Not bad, eh?

The only thing is, these little gems are hard to find. So in the interest of preserving slacker spines everywhere, I've posted my favorite glamping spots in Northern/Central (and slightly southern) California. If you've got a favorite glamping spot, please post it in the comments!

Costanoa
www.costanoa.com

Crystal Cove Beach Cottages
http://www.crystalcovebeachcottages.com/html/index.php

Big Sur Campground and Cabins
http://www.bigsurcamp.com/

Casini Ranch:
http://www.casiniranch.com/

Evergreen Lodge No Hassle Camping and Cabins
http://www.evergreenlodge.com/customcamping.html

Instruction Card for Teacher Thank You Gift

2009-06-11T11:34:00.001-07:00

The card shown (right) is the format I used to make the instruction cards for the Teacher's Movie Night gift box.

See the "Saying Thank You" Blog for an explanation of this gift idea.

Print the following instructions on a card of small piece of paper mounted to the front of the popcorn gift bag. Be sure to write a personal thank you note to go with it.

Pin “Best Teacher” ribbon on shirt before going to video store. Shamelessly solicit compliments and admiration from video store staff.
Use gift card to rent movie with actual plot, good dialogue, and total absence of cartoon characters.
Pop popcorn and place in popcorn box. Feel free to wipe buttery hands on sweat pants without fear of “setting bad example.”
Eat all candy in box. Do not share. If anyone approaches candy, grab box greedily and yell: “mine!” like an ill-mannered 3-year-old.
Repeat as necessary or until gift card runs out of credits.

Slacker Suggestion #4: Saying Thank You

2009-06-11T11:18:00.001-07:00

All good over-scheduled slackers know that they owe A LOT to the people in life that help them get everything done. From time to time, you absolutely need to stop and tell them just how much you appreciate them. This is especially true if you are a parent.

On the top of my list of people to thank are my son's teachers. There are six of them in his pre-school classroom, and let me tell you those ladies WORK. Everyday they make sure 32 little kids don't kill themselves on the play yard, get them ready for kindergarten, make sure they eat a nutritious lunch and snack, help them go to sleep at nap time, and generally love and connect with them while we parents are away at work. All for pretty modest wages and little societal prestige. Now that I look at that list, "Thanks" seems kind of inadequate.

I wish I could give them all gifts that captured how much I value their contributions, but I'm unfortuantely not Oprah. So, in addition to a heartfelt "thank you" I made these small gifts at the end of this year. (You could also use this idea for xmas gifts for teachers).

Below is my cheat sheet for a cute, affordable "thank you" gift (especially when you have many to give!):

TEACHER'S NIGHT OFF GIFT
1. Buy the following supplies: Popcorn boxes (from a party store or theatre concession stand), box of microwave popcorn, boxes of movie style candies (I got Jr. Mints, etc at Safeway), Gift Cards for local video store or Netflix, pkg of yellow tissue paper, and "best teacher" ribbon or button.
2. Unfold the popcorn boxes and place yellow tissue in with edges sticking up. Fill with 1 box of candy, 1 video club gift card, 1 bag of microwave popcorn and "best teacher" ribbon or button.
3. Fill out the "Teacher's Night Off" instruction gift card (doc is posted on this blog for your use) and secure instruction card to gift or tuck inside. Write name of teacher on popcorn box.

Print the following instructions on a card of small piece of paper mounted to the front of the popcorn gift bag. Be sure to write a personal thank you note to go with it.

Pin “Best Teacher” ribbon on shirt before going to video store. Shamelessly solicit compliments and admiration from video store staff.
Use gift card to rent movie with actual plot, good dialogue, and total absence of cartoon characters.
Pop popcorn and place in popcorn box. Feel free to wipe buttery hands on sweat pants without fear of “setting bad example.”
Eat all candy in box. Do not share. If anyone approaches candy, grab box greedily and yell: “mine!” like an ill-mannered 3-year-old.
Repeat as necessary or until gift card runs out of credits.

Slacker Suggestion #3: I know I'm forgetting something ...

2009-05-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

It's 8:15 am ... my son has to be to school by 8:30 and I've just remembered that I'm "snack mom" today. Crap. I can't believe I'm actually thinking "What kind of snack can you get for 30 pre-schoolers at 7-11 or the drive-thru of McDonalds?" This will definitely eliminate me from the running for the mother-of-the-year award.

It's come down to this for me: If it's not on my iPhone Gmail Calendar, it does not exist. So, in an effort to not shame my son on snack day (let's not even talk about show-and-tell day where I try to scavenge an "educational" item to share from the garbage rolling around in my trunk), I did a little research and found a nifty new gadget I thought I'd share: www.rememberthemilk.com

It's free. It works with my iPhone and Gmail calendar. It keeps me from looking like a loser most of the time. I have no investment in the company (except as a user). End of endorsement.

Now I'm thinking of sigining up my husband for the service so the alerts can enhance our communication (or, let's be real: serve as our primary means of communication).

Slacker Suggestion #2: Mowing the damn lawn.

2009-05-23T14:11:00.000-07:00

I don't get it. You know, those people who get all misty-eyed and giddy talking about their yard? Personally, I hate mowing the damn lawn. But I hate paying someone else to do it even more, so here's my strategy to getting in done and tidy with the least amount of time and effort:

1. Get out the weed whacker and trim the perimeter of the lawn and all the edges you can't reach with your mower.
2. Use the weed whacker to trim around sprinkler heads and paving stones.
3. If you are using a bag mower (or any mower that picks up clippings) blow or sweep all edge trimmings onto the lawn you are about to cut. If you aren't using a mower that sucks up the clippings, don't bother ... you'll have to sweep it or blow it later anyway.
4. Get out the mower. Start by making one full pass around the perimeter of the lawn. When finished, reverse direction and make a second pass around the perimeter, overlapping your first pass around the lawn by one-half a mower width.
5. If there are irregular shaped areas on your lawn, cut those now. Always make one pass in one direction, then reverse directions for the next pass overlapping by one-half mower width.
6. You should now have one rectangular (or square) area of uncut lawn. Make vertical passes up and back always overlapping by one-half mower width.

If you have a bag mower, you're done.
If you don't have a bag mower: use a rake to get all the clippings off the lawn onto the sidewalk. Blow or sweep all the clippings into your yard recycling or burn barrel.

Slacker Suggestion #1: How to clean up your crap.

2009-05-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday. Prime slacking time before childbearing and careers infiltrated my life and left my house in utter chaos.

All week long the three of us have been racing to: eat breakfast, get dressed, make lunch, go to school/work, eat dinner, go to bed, and repeat. Saturday morning finds me wading through a floor strewn with dirty clothes and toys, while struggling to find a surface that isn't filled with dirty dishes or junk mail. I have no choice but to clean it up or someone's going to call the health department.

This used to take me hours to sort out, roaming from room to room trying to put it all away. No more. Here's my super-duper slacker system for getting it all under control in record time (my 1000 square foot bungalow takes one hour):

1. Grab a laundry basket,two old grocery bags (paper ones), a kitchen towel and a bottle of simple green (or other multi-purpose cleaning solution in a spray bottle).
2. Start in the living room, then move to the bedrooms, then the bathroom, then the kitchen. Trust me. The order matters. I don't have any other rooms, so if you live in a bigger house you'll have to work out your own system.
Here's the important part: DO NOT LEAVE THE ROOM UNTIL YOU ARE FINISHED CLEANING IT. No running to put things in a different room, to the trash can, to the washer, NOTHING. STAY IN THE ROOM UNTIL IT IS DONE.
3. First, go through the room and just pick up the stuff that doesn't belong in that room (dirty laundry, dirty dishes, the book you were reading on the toilet, etc). Put this stuff in the laundry basket.
4. Next, go through the room and put all the garbage in one of the brown paper bags.
5. Next, go through the room and put all the recyclables in the other brown paper bag.
6. Do a quick tidy (make the bed, fold the lap blanket in the living room, put your toothbrush away, wash the dishes, wipe the sink down in the bathroom, etc) Always work from the top down. That means: first wipe the counters/tables (this is where the towel and the cleaning solution come in). Let the crumbs and dirt fall on the floor. Don't worry about it at this point, just leave it.
7. Move to the next room. Look in the laundry basket: Is there anything in the basket that belongs in THIS room? If so, put it away now.
8. Repeat steps 3-6.
9. After you finish the kitchen, take whatever is left in the laundry basket and put it in the room it belongs in. This shouldn't take long if you have been doing step 7 throughout the house. You should now be left with a basket of dirty laundry only. You're in the kitchen, so grab a kitchen garbage bag and put all the dirty laundry in it and take it to the washer or the laundromat. Take the trash and recycling out.
10. Now go through and vaccuum or sweep/mop all the floors at once.

Voila! Time for Saturday Slacking.